dream that it is all the same
dream that it is all the same
falling knee deep into a pit of mud
the alcohol fueling my anger
i see you
i see you there
in the distance
too far to reach for me
and too high up in the air.
as fires rode through the night sky
sending shadows of smoke
through the air.
standing against strength
I lunge into the unknown
only to weep in despair.
They must be out
Out of their minds
To feel as they do
Where there is no return
No return to the norm
No return to their arms
Arms that once held
Are empty once again
And lost in finality
There is a nothing
As it seeps over my soul
Breaking everything that it crashes into
Only doing harm
Swaying back and forth
Never being seen only heard
All you want and need are gone
Here in the nothing
I tripped over treetops and clouds
When I found you.
You stumbled over rocks and sand
When you found me.
You cried at the sight of remembrances
I did too
You are a mere shadow
To the sky
And I a means to an end
Forces pull the ground toward you
While looking at the sun
I am not one of them.
You closed your eyes to tears of reality
You cried at the sight of remembrances and I did too.
Once I thought I saw you standing across from me looking at the moon high above us.
I was wrong of course but I claim I felt your eyes.
There was no home for us I wrote to you in an old letter of imaginings.
Darkness always creeps in when I try to write to you.
I don’t know why but it seeps into the cracks that I try to paste together.
But I still write to you.
I always have and always will.
I know that you go to the places I go
I feel it
I can’t even explain that.
Maybe its not for me to know, but some other thing in the universe to understand.
I always mean to tell you something that in the end I can’t remember upon waking.
Annoying to some but when I fall to sleep I find comfort knowing you could be there.
In a fog smiling and waiting just to see me.
Just to say hi and look into my soul.
Even though I now wear glasses to both read and do just about everything, I can see you too.
I will never know your face but the eyes are always the same.
There haunting me
Leading me down a silent road to a distant land of appeasement and joy.
The mixture of emotion is always fleeting toward dawn…
This is an unfortunate event for me.
Is it for you too?
Tell me your secrets…
You say this without a spoken word.
Of course I can read your mind as much as you can read mine.
Let me pull you deeper into sleep.
Let me show you a land through my window that we can share.
Feeling this, a cool soft moss beneath my feet
Breathing in the damp evening air
All the while in the warmth of knowing that you are there with me.
Do you feel this too?
I can sometimes sense you smiling.
The moments we share in solitude.
When will you reveal your face to me??
Is this a cosmic way of telling me that you are in my fact my one true love?
Yet another question that would bring a sly smile to you.
That is if I even let you know I thought about this.
Oh to know where and when you will appear in life
It’s a yearning thought
Of course I can never hear your voice
Just a mind meld that is so often spoken of in television and movies.
Laugh as you want but you know it to be the truth.
When I feel the dawn rising
You look as sad as I feel
But I think you believe we will never meet again as you are.
This is a possible fact
There have been many smiles and secrets in my life.
All of which have no face
And of course different lands to show me.
There is an innocence in all of this.
I appreciate that.
I never want that to change.
I doubt you would either.
I am writing this to you with a smile that I know would make you grin
Most certainly as much as you did last night when I tried to get you to say something verbally.
The care you take with your secrets amaze me.
I wish I had that same dedication.
I just chuckled.
If you could see me now.
Doing this while my favorite music plays in the background.
It’s now almost 3am on a Friday night Saturday morning
I have broken the chain of our promises and have chosen to explain myself to you again
In another letter of imaginings.
I send this to you.
And this time the universe too…
With all of my love.
fixed in your eyes I wandered away
far from deceit
from my distance
that would never fade or grow old.
I love you from afar.
Perfection from a distance
swayed my mood.
With a slight smile I gazed at you across the expanse
Sun blinding in its golden rays I blinked.
When I awoke you were gone.
Hanging my head I walked